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In April, the UK's largest domestic abuse charity Refuge reported a 700% increase in calls to its helpline in a single day. Sex workers are especially vulnerable to family and intimate partner violence due to the criminalisation of our work and surrounding social stigma. Many domestic violence support services in the UK consider sex work to be inherently a form of exploitation. This can make it hard for us to get help accessing those services so we're heavily reliant on our social and community networks to keep us safe and keep us connected. We’ve compiled some suggestions of how to support victims of domestic abuse without calling the police if you suspect abuse or violence is happening. Calling the police on sex workers without us asking for you to can be especially dangerous. There are other ways to help.
National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
Mankind – 01823 334 244
The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors – 0808 801 0327
The Mix, free information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428
Samaritans (24/7 service) – 116 123
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How to support victims of domestic abuse (without calling the police)
1. Do not call the police. Unless someone has asked you to call them or you believe their live to be in danger, don’t call the police. The cops are not trained to deal with domestic abuse and will sometimes arrest the wrong person or escalate the situation, making it worse for the victim.
2. Signpost. Let the person know about local or national services which can help them (we’ve included some numbers of the last slide). If you are worried about a neighbour or someone in your community, leave the information out where they may be able to see it.
3. Keep communication open. Keep talking and keep being there for this person, the contact is a lifeline. They know best how to keep themselves safe. They know their abuser better than anyone. They have survived this long. Your non-judgemental presence means everything.
4. Do not contact the abuser. It’s tempting to contact the abuser because you think that confronting them might help them stop. This is rarely the case. Unrequested contact means there is a higher chance that they will blame the victim for talking about it and punish them for it.
5. Don’t gossip. Wanting to tell other people what you know can come from a good place, but calling up friends or family members can add to the shame someone is experiencing from being in an abusive relationship. Don’t put them in a situation where they want to stop communicating with you.
6. Manage expectations. Be honest about what kind of help you can offer. Someone leaving domestic abuse may need money, a place to stay, or someone to help with childcare. Be careful to let them know what it is that you can offer. If all you are able to do is listen – which is amazing – then be clear about that.
7. Recognise the impact. People who experience domestic abuse often have their sense of self worth obliterated. If you’re trying to support someone living with abuse, complimenting them, reassuring them, being kind to them, and boosting their self-esteem are amazing ways of keeping them strong.
8. Keep yourself safe. Know your own boundaries and look after yourself. If it is becoming too difficult or too traumatic to support someone, do not be afraid to tell the person in a mindful manner and step away.
如何在不报警的情况下支持家暴受害者
来源：SWARM
https://www.swarmcollective.org/domestic-abuse-support
翻译：阿雷雷
校对：Xi
1、不要报警
除非有人让你报警，或者你认为当事人有性命危险，不要报警。警察通常没有接受过处理家暴的培训，有时会逮捕错误的人，或者将事件升级，将受害者置于更糟的境地。
2、指明方向
让当事人了解到能帮助到ta的那些本地和全国性的支持性服务网络（文末提供了一些英国本土援助热线）。如果你担心你的邻居，或者你所在社区中的某位住户，请尽量把信息放置在对方能看见的地方。
3、保持联系
和当事人保持交流并且陪伴在ta身边。你和ta的联系就是当事人的救命索。
当事人最了解如何让自己安全。Ta们比任何人都了解施暴者，毕竟ta们已经幸存了这么久。
陪伴当事人并且不加评判，这对于ta们来说意味着一切。
4、不要联系施暴者
你可能会想联系施暴者，因为你认为直面对方也许会有帮助。
但很少会是这样的情况。
施暴者很可能会因为你的联系而责备受害者把家暴事实说出去，甚至惩罚受害者。
5、不要八卦
把这件事情告诉别人的动机可能是好的，但是让更多的朋友或者家人知道这件事可能会增加处在家暴关系中的受害者的羞耻感。
请避免让这样的事情发生，否则对方可能不会再联系你。
6、把控预期
诚实地告诉对方你能提供的帮助。
一些试图离开家暴环境的当事人可能需要钱、住宿或者照料儿童的人员。
请仔细地告诉对方你能够提供哪些帮助。
如果你能做的只是倾听（超棒！），一定要同对方明确。
7、认识影响
通常经历家暴者的自我价值会受到严重伤害。
如果你想支持受家暴者——赞美ta们，安慰ta们，对ta们好，增强ta们的自尊心，这些都是令其坚强的好办法。
8、保证自己的安全
明确自己的界限并且照顾自己。
如果帮助别人这件事变得太困难或者带来过多心理创伤，不要害怕告诉当事人，用得体的方式告知对方并离开。
英国本土援助热线
National Domestic Abuse Helpline（全国家暴援助热线）- 0808 2000 247 官方网站：www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
Mankind (主要援助男性家暴受害者) – 01823 334 244 官方网站：https://www.mankind.org.uk
The Men’s Advice Line （主要援助男性家暴受害者）– 0808 801 0327 官方网站：https://mensadviceline.org.uk
The Mix（为25岁以下人群提供免费的信息和支持）– 0808 808 4994 官方网站：https://www.themix.org.uk
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline （全国LGBT+家暴援助热线）– 0800 999 5428 官方网站：https://galop.org.uk
Samaritans (24/7免费服务热线) – 116 123 官方网站：https://www.samaritans.org